I know it is a little weird when I write about getting over and moving on and letting go of someone that you love(d). I write a lot on love and its perks but in this piece I wish to enlighten you about the difference between Love that heals as against Love that kills. Love that heals, doesn’t need getting over because the person enters your life to make things better than before, bandages your past wounds and helps you unpack your baggage of the several years of hurt, tears, pain and endless suffering. Well let’s better not call it “endless” since he proved it otherwise by ending it. As they say, this man is a keeper. The other leaves you a “weeper” (if there is any such English word for you know what I mean). This one is definitely not worth wasting time and energy on. But alas! this will be the same one you find irresistible. He will sweep you off your feet in the Hollywood style and woo you every time with the smallest of acts that you find uber cute and oh-so-great because frankly he seldom takes up effort to do something for you. Let’s face it, we all have had this one person (or more, if you didn’t give up after the first…Good for you though!) This person is basically the reason why you ate buckets of chocolate ice cream on Saturday nights sitting like a potato on the couch, watching either soppy Romantic comedies or listening to his favourite music whose lyrics make much more sense to you now. But let’s think of it this way, he left, he cheated, he lost- You gained! You gained freaking 10 kgs of weight sitting there and gorging on munchies and giving in to chocoholism! So yeah it’s time to undo the damage.
1. Avoid alcohol! Subtly, I mean keep away from drunk dialing or messaging. Trust me you wont like what you read the next morning. Delete his contact if you wish, un-friend him at least for a time period till you are ready to face the storm-strong and careless. Instead eat vegetarian. Eating chocolates and junkies to reward yourself during this time doesn’t necessarily make you feel better. In fact it reiterates and reminds you every time you take a bite that you are doing this to get over something and not because you deserve the chocolate. Hence, you keep entering the victim-mode. And there is nothing more insulting than taking a bite of a chocolate bar’s head while being sad inside and feeling blah about yourself! Respect that chocolate! Please.
2. Get rid of the gifts, diaries containing memories that suck, those pictures together? Un-fucking-tag them! You don’t wanna see them transform into another new pretty girl. This is the point where you need real strength. Tell yourself you are cool enough to be Superman and just burn those little things that will bother if in sight. (Remove that coffee-mug with you two PRESTO-ed on it- there are needy people out there, give it off. Stop wearing that dress or nail-paint he gifted you, trust me there are better ones coming! Stop smelling those bed sheets and perfumes- It’s toxic!) If you cling, you don’t get a better thing!
3.Stop the stalking business. “I don’t stalk”. Oh come off it! Everybody does! You can do it too. You have my permission but not that one entity. Not that guy. Come on, you can sooo do it. I have seen you do better alright? Trust me this fetches you nothing but being tagged a psycho. Stalkers are creepy. A friend described Stalking as a romantic walk with the one you love, where only one person is aware. Creepy right? You reallly wanna be that guy? Instead do some productive work on the net. Watch America’s funniest home videos (Baby compilation) That one never failed me. 😀 Make some new friends. Visit sites that interest you. Try Lifehack. It’s my Oh-my-god site. Make money out of the internet. And please, when you find a way, pay a tip to me by letting me know how! I am desperate here 😀
4.Extension to last point. DO NOT stalk the present girlfriend either 
Yeah, your hands might itch, but she’s not necessarily a bitch. This makes you compare yourself with her, where you will invariably lose because you will tell yourself he went from me to her, so of course she is more funny,smart, good looking. Why? Because, people always move from the local store to the supermarket when they do not find some product in the local one. Bullshit! How many times has it been that you couldn’t afford that brand from the mall and ended up buying a similar dress(just cheaper) from the local Brand factory? Need I explain more? Trust me, you are better. In every way. In the way that you loved him, in the way that you looked at him, took care of him, let go off him. All of these make you so much more than any one else.
5. Go out with people a bit more- with friends that you neglected, with family since you stopped visiting relatives because your BBM was always more exciting. Go out with that guy who made you feel good about yourself, dance at those parties your boyfriend didn’t allow you to, wear that dress that was too revealing according to him, let those people in your life know that you are sorry for having been cut out for so long and let them know that you are back. CELEBRATE!
6. Celebrate your parent’s birthday and anniversary. That you have fucked it up big by not doing so for so long already, it’s time you take charge. Plan out awesome trips or parties with your siblings and cousins and give those two biologically and emotionally tied human beings a real treat. It doesn’t have to be an expensive shit, it could be more of the “I am concerned and I love you” -shit. You will realise that you are saving a hell lot of money from having broken up and please don’y make that another reason why to cry, rather gift your sibling some awesome stuff making her grow as you, giving her lessons that you learnt from life.
7. Get a crazy friend and let her turn you equally crazy. You wont regret. I met one and oh-boy! What turn of events! She broke my shackles, we fell in love with the same boy together! We did crazy stuff like travelling to places without an extra what-if thought. We crushed on numerous people. Yes, I who didn’t stare at anyone for over 3 years! I did. So can you. But you need to find that one woman who will be “your person”. She came like a hail storm, took away all my tears and dropped them off to some far away land that I have no intention of visiting.
8. Get some philosophical guru. Might sound so un-cool to some of you oh-too-gen y but you cannot afford to be deprived of the life changing lessons that they confer upon you and the way you understand each piece that life is comprised of and help you in forgiving, forgetting and in short- getting life. I would suggest Brahmakumari Sister Shivani. She just turned my life upside down. Whatever I do and whoever I am is all thanks to her. My life is a book that she took out of the shelf, dusted off and opened to see in full bloom. And here I am!
9. Do not underestimate the power of Self help blogs alright? If you are too cool for them, better suffer. They help you eveolve. Sustained reading makes you a better human being, ready to take on the world. Blogs like these give you so many people’s experience that you have no option but to get over the shit you have been put through. Most importantly, do not blame the person, forgive and forget. It helps both of you to lead a better future. Do not say nasty stuff about them, your personal secrets as a couple and his weaknesses to outsiders. Then you are the bitch, I am sorry. Control that overarching emotion of taking revenge and giving it back and being the straightforward bitch.
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10.Create a better life. Share your story. Make an impact. Help someone each day. Find out who you are and what you want from life. Remember, one out of million isn’t the answer. It is a wrong, wrong notion that ex-es can’t be friends. The memories you two shared are not gonna become lies since you broke up. It all remains. A person leaves you, not because he was bad, but because his role in your life just got over. They all come into your life to leave you with a lesson. Learn that and move on. Be my Fast track girl :*
Positivity Attack - Unfiltered and Uninhibited 