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The Words of a Sleepy Girl

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

sleepy-girl

I am weird. I am always sleepy. You get me right? I am always ready for a 20 minute nap. I have Attention Deficit Disorder to top it, so I can just sit in a meeting and nod my way to glory while I am far gone, basically I have traveled from that room to my bed in my head. It’s not that bad, is it? To snap out of this heavy, tiring and mechanized world… take a break from the noise and detach yourself from the scene while your body is right there for people to see. I think it’s tremendously important. It is like a slot in your head you can turn off when required. Every time you do that you give yourself the time and space to relax and not take life so seriously. But those words don’t suit me, I am on auto-pilot, I take life more seriously than life takes me. I am over-conscious of who will perceive me as what and how my sleep syndrome will ruin my life. But that’s okay, I will get there. I think I will sleep it out!

Undoing The Hurt

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

Facebook image, The She Writer, Undoing The Hurt
Nights have a funny habit of strolling you through the freckles of time. A tape ceaselessly playing a hum at the back of your head. It is bewildering how everything is recorded…everything!
The one time you cried your eyes in the washroom while a party was going on downstairs, that day when you shook a hand while your heart wrenched in anguish, pain and jealousy.
You lay in your bed – stunned at the cycle of life, reminiscing each moment that left a significant scar in the child inside. There’s no going back, there’s no undoing the hurt.

This ain’t My Stage

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

Positivity Attack, This ain't my stage

 

Faking a smile in the midst of crowds is what I am known for. Reality is a faded truth, much blurred by dancing shadows, rejoicing to the myth of forced happiness. While this story unfolds all we do is grab a pretty drink, smile for the camera and pretend that we are a part of the crowd, while deep inside we are just not a part of this drama. This ain’t my stage, those ain’t my characters. Amen.

24

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

blanket-blue-chill-coffee-comfort-Favim.com-120985

 

24 – Well I just used that number to get your attention. Hope it worked. This is from my limited knowledge in advertising – Every 23, 24 and 25 year old will click on this blog post without a second thought. I am 24 and I get you. I am not here to bore you with “Things every 24 year old will connect with”, but I am here because I am 24 and lost. I am no more pepped about partying and getting sloshed. I am no longer the upfront, instantly-likable friend of a friend. Nope, I am the girl under the blanket on a happening Saturday evening with a laptop perched on her stomach, mindlessly scrolling through her news-feed and judging your lifestyle. Before you go “You Hypocrite!” on me, let me announce I am equally fucked up. I want to do ground-breaking stuff and achieve incredible things in life, but here I am sitting away from home, a head full of un-executed ideas, plans and stalled projects. As I write this piece, I have 68 others, saved as draft or let’s just call unfinished projects.

I make excuses for not going out with friends and colleagues because well, it’s the 23rd of the month, I have 600 rupees in my bank account and 7 fucking days to battle. Also my stomach, head and a few other body parts are aching (Read: Lies). I go through wedding albums on Facebook and judge your decision to get married, I refrain from commenting political opinions on social media, well because you know why it’s called ‘politically correct’.

I also smile at young 19 year olds living like they are juicing out the life from within their years and I do periodically read a piece or two online and feel the zeal coming back to life. Yes, I am HER – little unsure, an upholder of ‘transparency’, ‘honesty’ and ‘realness’. I am also those 24 year olds who used to believe in their potential to revamp the world, endorse integrity and goodness and who have somewhere and somehow lost track, fallen with a jerk and landed in an unfamiliar territory with no Google Map.

This is for you, in your 20s, for you have all the time to figure it out (or to not). There is probably nothing that needs your figuring out, possibly life is just to be lived. Let’s dismiss the pressure of expectations, the ideal images in our minds and travel with zero forecast. Let’s trust that we will be found, cherished and remembered.

Futile

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

futile

 

Have you ever touched a flower and felt it recoil into its shell, for you have ruined its purity? Have you had a baby in your arms, slap you in public? Have you been told that your existence is worthless? It is easier being slapped than being appreciated, have you noticed?

We find it more believable that we are useless, just a broken piece of a puzzle trying to find its corner on this planet. In a vicious world, it is easier to doubt than trust, pull down than elevate and ruin than save. Here lies the burial ground which witnesses the corpse of many a futile dream and destiny. A chance, taken away from a soul which could have created great ripples in the universe. It is the duty of the mind to cause ruckus. It is on a constant quest of finding the incompetent, wrong, futile, not-so-perfect in us.

 

Let’s not let it win. Let’s dictate the terms. Let’s be our own bosses, let’s kick ass like we own this place.

Sleep

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

I have always thought that sleep is underrated. Motivational speakers and leaders of this century make a constant effort to put the message across that sleep is evil. They mostly speak about how sleeping is a waste of time and how you can sleep to your heart’s content when you are in your grave. Though I am too young to judge or contradict their flow of thought, I have always felt that sleep is a miraculous tool that rejuvenates your core.

Although sometimes it disappoints me to ponder on how much time I have actually lost while I slept, it also reminds me of the wellness I have felt each time I took a solid rest of 10 hours or more. It is scientifically backed that 8 hours of sleep is a standard and absolutely necessary but I can vividly remember a few 14 hours of sleep that I have treated my body to which only turned me into a ridiculously happy person the next day.

  • It strengthens your immune system
  • Makes you less irritable
  • Reduces stress
  • Fights obesity and heart diseases
  • Repairs cells and tissues
  • Combats exhaustion
  • Restores emotional balance
  • Restores healthy skin and so much more.

Are you in for the Brownie, mate?

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Are You In For The Brownie, mate

Life is like a swirling typhoon. You can see it coming and you can see it in full course, blooming in rage, beauty and circular motion. But do you know when it will cease to exist? No you don’t. Unless you are a mystic baba who has seen his own death in the eyes of a mountain. Now that’s the point. You came into the stage of glory, chances and opportunities with strong and invisible wings. Isn’t it but only a shame for an exotic bird to choose not to fly?

 

So what’s your plans with those crazy-beautiful set of wings? Treat it as a heritage passed onto you in the form of lineage or work it till its tired? Days are counted, magic-moments are few and relations are precious. So what are you gonna do about it? Sit there and let life unfold as it should? Or would you choose to live, fly and push it to the extremes and laugh out loud? Would you be just one of those who say “Love but be careful”?  Or would you be that “fool” who gave it all, in the quest for unconditional and platonic love?

 

See now, it all sounds crazy good when you say life has its own course and it is God’s idea that  we should ‘go with the flow’. But how come we fail to realise that we goddamn build that flow? We decide and act upon how deep and fast that river flows! Do you want to watch it as it passes by and be the one to blurt out that “Oh No!” at the end of life? Or will you be the one who chalked out that course, shook up the path, meandered through the wow-moments and ended where he or she wanted to end up (and said “Oh Yes!”). Failure being imminent and opportunities being countless, won’t you walk up and ask for what you need, deserve and enjoy? So what if some of them have to call you a “bitch”, “undeserving”, “ruthless” or “too much”? Guess who’s gonna get the brownies in the end while the former drools?

Are You In For The Brownie, mate 2

Create my aura

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

blog 1 i

Gulping in a hot, refreshing cup of ginger tea, I promised myself to do justice to my being. Was I utilising only a tiny part of my potential and letting the rest pass on as mere excess? If yes, I definitely needed to work on that.

When I have time at my disposal, I might just add a little extra sugar to my daily dose of ideas and create an aura around me that no one can break through. If I were to define this wall, I would call this a layer of sugar so deep and strong that cannot be brought down even by the highest power. It was a layer of un-grief, un-problems, un-insecurity, and all the other devils that eat up our strengths and juice them out into weakness.

I heard my breathe, it was ready to take on the world. There was beauty all around in all that I saw and felt. My un-smoking provided me fresh lungs like never before. I could smell better, recognize tastes like my mother tongue. Everything I touched had a bit of my sparkle left behind. I heard sharper, felt invincible and cared more and worried less. I believed everyone deserves a wholesome life. One with creation, productivity, non-negotiable laughter, bonds and immortal relationships. I could no more find my dream-killers in my neighborhood. My mind was fresh like a ripe lemon waiting to be squeezed into something healthy, nutritious and rejuvenating. I was indeed ready to take on the world with my glamour, my ruthlessness towards ‘happy’ and my beautiful heart that knew nothing but nice words, thoughts and actions.

Regrets were removed from the dictionary of feelings and replaced by renewal. I felt emotions like a bird feels the first rays of the sun. I was present, alarmed and glad that I was here. I knew what I had to offer and what I could make of it. It was truly inspiring to me. I was sure it would create a whole lot of difference to so many others, waiting to be bloomed, waiting to be shaken up and  waiting to find a life that radiates hope, faith and belief.

An architect of words.

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

 

words shall flow till I am

Writing is a disease. Or rather the need to express is. When you do not write for a substantial amount of your waking hours you wither. You feel weaker, stranger and uneasy about your own mind. It feels like you are carrying around so many disgustingly great stories in your head that deserve to be heard.

Now some of these stories shall be lame. A handful of them have the potential to evoke unknown emotions in a person or two. Some will make a few of your readers laugh and some may lead to a nose-cringe, raised eyebrows and a fake laughter, all that matters is you are giving birth to emotions. An extra set of emotions have come into formation in this world because of the words you sprinkled over the pages of your notebook. Be charmed about the idea of it. You are the mother of the story. You are an instigator, a creator, an architect, a designer of a tiny part of your reader’s life.

 

Writer’s Block, Don’t give a F*ck!

Posted on by sampurnasengupta

Writer's Block

Writing has been an integral part of my life. There came a time when I couldn’t go a single day without writing. Be it anything trivial, I just had to write. I gradually grew comfortable to writing on the web over the age-old pen and paper.

I am sharing an extremely vulnerable truth of my life here. I have stopped pouring out my emotions for a substantial frame of time. This has been triggered primarily due to fear of judgment, of internet shaming, of a large audience, of words being sculpted into the brains of people which cannot be taken back. The permanent nature of text on the internet is scary and makes me quite anxious in all honesty.

Being too afraid of getting judged and the all time fear factor of “Log Kya Kahenge?” a passion, a talent that I could cultivate was almost slipping away. I put my foot down today and I told myself that if it is taking so much time for me to figure out a topic for the scare of surveillance, I better start with writing about and accepting my fear and brushing it off my life.

I shall write- be it whatever. I shall let my words flow into streams and rivers of happiness, grief, passion and existence. I shall survive through my words. I shall be born through paragraphs and commas. I shall take deep satisfaction in carrying forward my strains, survival and love. I shall do it all without fear of being judged. I take away your power to judge me, to critique me or to hurt me. Tonight I turn invincible. Thank You. 🙂

                                         IMG_20150116_184055

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”–  Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life